well its been an interesting year, and a little bit longer since i last updated.

dumped that asshole, dated someone else, dated asshole again, then ran away from home to covet my obsessive devotion

i received nearly a full ride to nhia, which i hope to redeem in the spring; i miss the northeastern weather, texas itself is suffocating and just jshsfjhzxxhjfd

although i must say i'm happier than i've ever been my entire life, they told me that i must have always been miserable in nh, because i actual sound like i'm truly enjoying myself now

i dont regret the choices i've made over the years, not all of them at least. i'm glad i kept the friends i did, and it hurts to know that your greatest flaw is someone who imitates yourself, (rest in pieces christopher jennerjohn, i miss your curlie hair, infact; i miss everything about our friendship, i miss jess, i miss alyssa, i miss everything, your retarded myspace stories, complaining about our parents/siblings, i miss your shitty music and retarded hippi/fag ideals. you'll never know how deeply i loved everything about you and how you were basically a mirror of my intellectual self

being 18, getting into college was easier than i thought, i just wish my old friends had been with me instead of giving head to deaf kids, (some things are so disturbing they've left such a deep imprint in my mind only a bullet wound could remove
i still have dreams about molly, i still feel erotic about the way she moved and spoke to me. perhaps i loved her too. either way, i made my choice and i am proud of myself

i even miss my parents, althou i dont think i'm ready to speak to my brother, i have a feeling that maybe when i return he'll look at me like he did only days before the fight, either way i guess i wont lose sleep over it

i doubt i'll ever truly be able to look upon melanie in the same light, i suppose she'll always be my retarded "BESTFRIENDFOR8YEARSDAMMIT", it's funny what power and empathy can do to a spirit, and how they can change people you believe you knew so well, it's too comical really; it's nearly a joke (yes i've changed but maybe you didn't catch that FORTHEPAST8YEARSOMAN.. happy birthday thou! i'm glad you're happy

alexander boner, you're a talent, a diamond trapped in a ruffled hexagram. i miss our car rides, i miss jillaine as well as joanne and marc, logan. i miss alli and jenni and everyone at subway, except working at subway that is



this has taken a bit out of me, i need a smoke
<3